(This post was adapted from a recent publication of the Four Relationships Community Newsletter. If you'd like to receive monthly email articles like this please subscribe here.)
Having a difficult time deciding on a gift for someone in your life? Selecting a thoughtful, tailored gift can be a meaningful expression of care. Fortunately, the gifts that mean the most are often free. Here are 10 ideas for giving meaningful gifts of oneself.
Tailored Acts of Kindness
Focused Time
Specific Appreciation
Gift of Personal Talent
Silence and Listening
Platinum
Letting Go
Saying "Yes"
Shout Out
Encouragement
Tailored Acts of Kindness
Find out what an individual finds important, is stressed about, or needs help with and do something to help with a specific situation. This can take some digging and inquiring but the end result is a gift matched specifically to a person's need. Is there a Mom who needs a last-minute babysitter at times? Volunteering to watch her kids on short notice could be priceless.
Focused Time
The gift of one's full self - attention, energy, eye contact - is becoming an increasingly rare gift. Make time to put aside the phone, turn off the TV, and be fully present. What will a child remember more - another set of pajamas or you working together to build an epic blanket fort?
Specific Appreciation
People want to be seen, heard, and appreciated. The more specific the appreciation, the more meaningful. Write a letter, call a friend, or visit someone and tell them specifically what you appreciate about them and how they have impacted your life for good.
Gift of Personal Talent
Each person has talents that can be the source of a great gift. The thoughtfulness in sharing a talent of music, poetry, art, organization, baking, or picking the right meme communicates a personal investment in others.
Silence and Listening
The saying, "Don't just sit there, do something" can motivate us to do good. Flipping that idea though can also be a useful gift: "Don't just do something, sit there." Be quiet. Listen deeply to someone. Withhold criticism. Don't post the divisive comment of social media.
Platinum
Not the metal, the rule. We've all heard the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." The lesser know Platinum Rule can turn our minds from what we want to what others desire: "Do unto others as they would like done unto them." Instead of getting that vacuum for your spouse because you value a clean house, offer nightly foot rubs because that means more to them.
Letting Go
This time of year can remind us of the good in our world. It can also remind us of rifts that have driven us from people we were once close to. Letting go of a grudge, anger, or blame opens doors for repair and reconnection. Let go of the hurtful thing your Mother-in-law said to you last year and give her the benefit of the doubt.
Saying "Yes"
At times, people request their own gift. It may not look like a gift request but invitations to hang out, to play a game, to watch a funny video clip, to attend an event, or to play in the snow are all requests for the gift of your time and presence. Look for opportunities to say "yes", where you often say no.
Shout Out
Public praise and recognition is easier in our day of social media than ever before. Pick a person, post their picture, and share what they mean to you and how great they are. Instead of getting your aging Dad another set of screwdrivers he doesn't need, post about the many ways he has blessed your life with his knowledge and skills throughout life.
Encouragement
Having someone believe in us, especially when we doubt our own abilities, generates hope. Hope generates strength to persevere. Perseverance generates confidence. Stoke the fire of someone's confidence by sending a message that you believe in them, their strength, and their abilities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson one wrote: "Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself." This year, give the gift of yourself.
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